Laura

My story began back in July 2023 when I noticed a lump in my lower neck. At this point I wasn’t too concerned but decided to go to the GP so they could take a look. The doctor had a feel of the lump and put it down to a swollen gland. It made sense as I had just gotten over a cold, and as it seemed to settle down over the coming weeks I didn’t think too much more about it.

I then went to Turkey at the beginning of September and whilst there noticed the lump had become enlarged and much harder than before. It was also tender to touch. On returning from my holiday I made a GP appointment which was a week or so later. At the appointment I sat down and the doctor had a good feel of my neck and advised she would refer to me Oncology where I would be seen within 2 weeks. At this point I had a feeling something bad was wrong. I had only been home from the GP a few hours and got a call to arrange a hospital appointment for the following week. It felt like a very long week, and I spent it sick with worry. 

By the time I went along to my first hospital appointment, a few more lumps had appeared. The doctor had a good feel around my neck, and due to the size of the lumps, they said they wanted me to have a core biopsy. I had to go home and return later that day for the procedure. What was only a few hours felt like weeks, and I was terrified. Luckily for me my friend was in the room as she works in that department. She kept me chatting and was a good distraction. Whilst the team were taking the biopsy from my neck, I looked at the ultrasound screen and saw where the lumps were. I could see they were outlined in orange and from this moment I just knew it was cancer. The doctor remained positive and tried to reassure me, but my mind was wandering in all directions thinking my life was over. 

Apart from the lumps the only other symptom I had up until that point was itchy skin which seemed to be worse at night, but again I hadn't really thought too much about it. 

I waited a week before I went for the results. It was in the October of 2023, and I felt sick and so anxious when the day arrived. I had already convinced myself I had cancer so when I entered the room and sat down the look on the doctor’s face said it all. I remember them saying those words I didn’t want to hear - ‘I am really sorry Laura, but it is cancer’. Even though I already knew my heart sank and the first thing I thought about was how do I even begin to tell people I have cancer and might not make it? The doctor told me I had Hodgkin lymphoma, and tried to reassure me that, with the right treatment, my prognosis was good.  I was told I would need chemotherapy and that I would lose my hair. This was a difficult thing to come to terms with after spending lots of money and time on my hair (and of course my signature fringe!). But telling my family and friends was by far the hardest thing.

A couple of weeks later, I went back to the hospital for a PET/CT Scan to see if the cancer had spread. I was injected with a radioactive substance and scanned from head to toe. I went for the results a week later and was told it had spread to my spleen and I had a small mass behind my chest. I then received my full diagnosis of Stage 3S Hodgkin lymphoma. In a way I was relieved I finally knew how bad it was, and that plans could now be made to get rid of it. I knew that beyond that, I could live the rest of my life with my little family – my partner Stephen, and our daughter Ava, who had just turned one.  But when I was told I had cancer, one of my fears was how was I going to cope with the effect of my treatment on day to day living and looking after my little one. 

Up until this point, I wasn’t planning to share my diagnosis on social media, but I had a change of heart and thought this was the easiest way of letting people know. I knew I would soon lose my hair and didn’t want people thinking I’d had a mid-life crisis! I was blown away with everyone’s messages and kind words, and they really were what kept me going throughout the whole thing. 

I was told I would need six cycles of ABVD chemotherapy, and my first chemotherapy day took place on the 8 November. It was a day full of mixed emotions. This might sound strange to some, but I was actually excited to just get going with it all. Stephen packed a bag full of treats to see us through the next few hours of being in hospital. I was greeted by some lovely nurses who took my observations and made me as comfortable as possible ready to begin the first round of chemo. It was a little overwhelming and I remember feeling so tired when I got home that day. 

From that day on, that was my new normal, with chemo day taking place every two weeks on a Wednesday. On my second session it took seven attempts to get the canula in as my veins had already decreased in size, making it more difficult for them to get it in. I had previously read up about having a PICC line fitted but decided not to go with this until it became a problem. It was now an issue and the thought of having to face being stabbed multiple times each week terrified me so I took the plunge and had it fitted in December 2023. My best friend came with me for support and it was not as bad as what I thought it was going to be. I didn’t feel a thing, and it was the best decision I ever made throughout this whole experience. 

For me the worst part in all of this was losing my hair. It was my identity and just the thought of it falling out was very traumatic. I was told it usually starts to fall out after the second round of chemo, and they were right. The day after my second round I was in the shower and the first clump of hair fell to the floor as I brushed it. This was heartbreaking but I knew it meant the chemo was working and doing its job. I decided to shave my hair off, as I had purchased a few wigs and the thought of being left with random strands of hair would have upset me even more. Stephen did it for me and I remember us in the kitchen not knowing whether to laugh or cry. I think it was the first time it hit me that I was poorly. I was lucky enough to have a really kind neighbour who purchased a real hair wig for me and my parents the other so I knew I wouldn’t be bald for long. 

During the coming months I had five hospital admissions, mainly due to me becoming neutropenic and not being able to fight infections alone without IV antibiotics. I did also get admitted with severe conjunctivitis where I lost all sight in my right eye for a few days which was pretty scary, but after a load of drops and antibiotics and a few nights in hospital I was much better and it cleared up.

My last chemo day was in April 2024, and it was a very surreal day. Whilst I was expecting to feel excited and relieved, I actually felt a little emotional. It meant my security blanket was taken away from me and my routine would change. 

It was then a long six week wait till my final PET/CT Scan. During this time, I felt anxious and very tense. My neck was aching and I was adamant I could feel lumps in my armpits. This was a really testing time for me and probably the worst I had felt throughout the whole process.

I attended this scan on my own as I knew I wouldn’t be given any results or further information, so I felt confident enough to attend alone. The days that followed were long, but I tried to keep myself busy as knew the outcome would be what it would be, and I would deal with it whatever the news. But as it turned out, the 20 June 2024 was the best day ever as I was told I was in complete remission.

I couldn’t quite believe it as I was convinced the cancer was returning so I decided to celebrate with a pub lunch (with a Prosecco of course) and a shopping trip for some new suitcases, ready for us to book a holiday! I really believe that I wouldn’t be where I am today without Ava, who has now turned two. She really was what drove me to continue with treatment however poorly it made me. I knew eventually it would come to an end and we could move on. Looking back, I am glad she was so little and won’t remember this awful time. I remember feeling worried about how she would be with me having no hair. The night I decided to shave it off, she was laughing at me and kept rubbing my head saying ‘Awww’. As my hair grows back, she helps me wash it in the bath and I am sure all of the past eight months will be a blur to her which I am forever grateful for.

I had never heard about lymphoma before my diagnosis so it was very new to me. My cancer nurse recommended Lymphoma Action, and said the Charity gave lots of really useful information, including tips for coping with lymphoma. I found the stories shared by people who themselves had experiences with lymphoma to be the most helpful. It was nice to know I wasn’t alone with feeling very up and down, and questioning why this was happening to me. I referred to the Charity on a number of occasions, and I felt it gave me the courage to share my story in the hope that it will help others. I feel it’s important for others to know they are not alone.  

If there’s one thing I took from all of this it’s to live each day as though it’s your last as you just don’t know what’s round the corner. I was one of the lucky ones and for that I am forever grateful. With the help from my family, friends and Lymphoma Action …. I did it!