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At the beginning of 2021 I noticed a lump in my neck. It was tiny, but I felt sure it was growing. I was 42 and have been a massage therapist for over 26 years. In my job I have seen lots of lumps and bumps over the years and often they are fatty lumps or are raised lymph nodes because of an infection.

I phoned my doctor and talked through my concerns, but came away feeling reassured there was nothing to worry about. But my mum and sister said they could notice a lump on my neck and urged me to get back in touch with the doctor.

I was referred to a cancer unit, as I had an ongoing lump that needed investigation. Blood tests were taken, and I was told the results looked fine, so I carried on and forgot about it. However, a little while later I got a phone call asking me to go back to the hospital as they wanted to take a biopsy. This was carried out as a small operation. I didn’t hear anything more for over three weeks.

I then received a phone call saying the results were back and could I come to the hospital. My sister insisted on coming with me and waited in the lobby while I went in. There were four doctors and a nurse there and they spoke very plainly about what the biopsy had revealed. I was diagnosed with lymphoma, a type of cancer.

The nurse took me into a private room with my sister and I told her I hadn’t even heard of lymphoma.

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I don’t recall taking anything else in at that moment. All I could think about was ‘How long will I live?’ and ‘What about my daughter?’

The nurse took me into a private room with my sister and I told her I hadn’t even heard of lymphoma. She explained more about it, but in truth a lot of it didn’t sink in at the time.

I needed to have a PET scan to identify where the lymphoma was and they explained to me that there was a small amount in my groin with more lymphoma in my neck.
At this point, the option of active monitoring (watch and wait) was discussed with me. In the media, whenever cancer is mentioned, it seems to me that the emphasis is on early diagnosis and treatment. The suggestion that I hold off treatment seemed to go against everything I thought about cancer.

As it turned out, I needed to start treatment so I decided to get my body as fit as possible beforehand. I detoxed for 4 weeks, cutting out meat and alcohol. I spent much more time watching nature with my sister and did more exercise; I even had a personal trainer!

I had R-CVP chemotherapy (rituximab plus cyclophosphamide, vincristine and prednisolone) and found it didn’t affect me as much as I’d thought it would.

The treatment needed to be adjusted, as I started to experience peripheral neuropathy: a strange tingling, particularly in my hands.

A PET scan at the end of treatment showed I was now in remission, although I feel I’m not yet out of the woods.

My daughter has been enormously supportive and is very happy I am in remission, although she does worry a lot that the lymphoma will come back. When I was first diagnosed, some of the children at school teased her, which may explain why she doesn’t want to talk about it much and tends to hold her emotions in.

My experience of lymphoma has brought all sorts of emotions out in me. 

I feel passionately that people should know more about lymphoma and I want to support others who are going through a similar experience to me.

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I feel passionately that people should know more about lymphoma and I want to support others who are going through a similar experience to me. That is why I have found the Lymphoma Action Closed Facebook Group so valuable. It feels such a safe, warm and friendly environment where people can talk about their worries or concerns, pose questions, discuss topics and share triumphs. It really has helped me get through this experience.

It’s taken me quite a time to recover, and because the job I do is pretty physical, I want to avoid putting too much stress on my body for as long as I can. I have my own business and am fortunate that my two colleagues have been able to keep everything going while I’ve been away. I’m just planning to return to two days a week, albeit rather cautiously.

I feel strangely lucky that my lymphoma presented with a lump in my neck, otherwise I think I would have ignored some of the other signs that something was wrong. I would urge anyone who suspects there may be something wrong with their body, not to ignore it.