Natalie

Hi, I’m Natalie. I am a paramedic, a proud mum to four cats, three guinea pigs and a dog. I love sandwiches cut into triangles rather than rectangles and I’m not keen on Taylor Swift. I’m more of an Eagles fan.

In 2015 my Mum died of bladder cancer. She had always told me ‘It’s a jungle out there so go for what you want in life’. So in 2016 I joined the ambulance service, leaving the police where I’d worked for eight years as a community support officer. My dream was to become a paramedic and in 2017 I qualified as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT), which was the first step towards my goal. In December 2017 I was thrilled to be accepted onto the Paramedicine course at the UEA. 

At the same time I had developed a lump on my tonsils which grew so much that it stopped me from being able to eat solid food. I was 38 and didn’t want to face what it was and ignored it for 2-3 weeks hoping things would improve. But it didn’t improve, and I was rapidly getting sick of soup.

I went to my GP who organised an endoscopy. The consultant showed me the images of my throat and clear as day there was a rather large, dark lump attached to the rear of my tonsils. It was to be removed immediately however having my tonsils out had complications due to bleeding, so I had to go back to hospital. A short time later I received a phone call from a secretary to an ENT consultant for the next day. 

The results were back. I was diagnosed with diffuse large B-cell lymphoma.

It felt like my life was about going from one hospital appointment to another.

Natalie

I needed surgery to remove some of the lymphoma and then started the chemotherapy regimen R-CHOP (rituximab with cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, vincristine and prednisolone). The prednisolone is a steroid, and I found I wanted to eat everything. But I was still finding it challenging to swallow which was difficult. 

I lost my hair and I also struggled with problems with my bladder, all of which were really tough. But I never thought that I would want to stop treatment. 

After the chemotherapy I went on to have radiotherapy and it felt like my life was just about going from one hospital appointment to another. I proudly completed by last radiotherapy in a Hulk onesie, which shows my humour, but inside it didn’t feel funny.  

At the end of treatment I felt really angry, bitter and frightened. 

Natalie

In fact, at the end of treatment I felt really angry, bitter and frightened. My life had been turned upside down in so many ways. I’d been married since 2013 and although I’d survived the cancer, my marriage didn’t. 

I started to struggle with night sweats after treatment which were because I was experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms. I didn’t have children through my own choice, but it was still tough going through this.

I recognised that I needed some help and found a therapist. She was not a cancer counsellor but someone who helps people through post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is something she felt I was experiencing. She has been so important to my recovery. 

I'm not just existing, I'm living. 

Natalie

I went back to work as an ambulance technician straight after my radiotherapy. The ambulance service were amazing and encouraged me to restart my paramedicine course. I became a qualified paramedic in December 2019; two years almost to the day that I was having my first lump removed. 

As a paramedic my experience really affects my job as I have a real insight into cancer and long term chronic conditions as well as the struggles people experience. 

I am now six years past treatment and am well so should be able to trust in my body again, but I’m not quite there yet. If I feel any pain, I worry that it is the lymphoma relapsing.

I met someone very special and have married again, to someone who completely and utterly adores and accepts me for me. He is my soul mate. Life just cannot get better than this and if you’d have told me five years ago that I would feel like this I would not have believed you. 

My Mum was right, and I wish she could see me now. I’m not just existing, I’m living.